she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
