There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
