I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
