Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
