Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
