I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
