the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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