At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
