Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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