Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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