my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
