One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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