I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You took a bar mat shot.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
