ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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