dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
