I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
