the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
