You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
