dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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