How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
