I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think im going to throw up on grandma
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
