She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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