i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
