K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
