so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
