We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I pour the whiskey from now on
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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