I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
