Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize