Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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