Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
