Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
