i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
