The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
