i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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