i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i drank out of a bidet.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
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