are you so shy because you have an std?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
