eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
