is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
nutella sex= disaster
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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