called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
