im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
