if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
The struggles of a small town man whore
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
