your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
