oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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