Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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