Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
