I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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