she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
