you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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