I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
