I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
