My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
