Plan B is the new Plan A
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
